Mothers....

It's strange, mothers are found on two poles: they are either easy going and don't try to run everyone's lives, or they are really controlling and never developed the, "I shouldn't say that to my daughter" filter. Mine falls on the latter. God bless her, and I love her, but at 35, she still tries to run my life as she sees fit, and she doesn't recognize that it is driving a big fat wedge between us. I don't tell her anything anymore because it just gives her fuel to be more nosy and controlling. It's sad, really. I have friends who have a really close bond with their mothers and it really makes me envious. I don't recall ever having that. Up until I was 21, I pretty much did everything she wanted me to, just like a robot. Then I got my first real boyfriend. She hated him. Looking back I think it was because she realized I wasn't a child anymore, and she was jealous of the time I spent with him. That's when I starting fighting back and quit doing everything according to her rules.

When I was 18, my mom packed up her car, left my dad, and moved 1,000 miles away. She stayed gone (and out of my business) for 14 years. She moved back 3 years ago and it's as if I never grew up to eventually turn into a responsible woman (who somehow managed to buy a house, borrow $170,000 to attend med school, and finish med school all on her own). She treats me like I'm a child again. She still tries to run my life as she thinks it should be. She gives me her unsolicited opinions on everything, and doesn't appear to think I am capable of making independent decisions. When I changed political parties several years ago, she said, "I think you are being influenced by the men you date". She said the same thing when I told her I was against gun control. She also didn't approve of my choosing anesthesia (which I think is probably the best decision I've made about anything....ever! And besides, what does SHE know about medicine? Nothing!) I could go on and on, I have a life full of examples, but what's the point? Everybody knows what I am talking about.

So, for the last few weeks, she has been pestering me about who all is on my graduation announcement list, saying in her best dictative voice, "I WANT you to invite fill-in-the-blank". I keep telling her that this is MY graduation, not hers (she doesn't trust me to send out announcements on my own). She started doing this again yesterday, but then it got even worse: She asked me if I used pretty stamps for the announcements. I about lost it. I told her I was sick and tired of her 2nd guessing every single thing I do. What the Hell is wrong with American Flag stamps??

We all know this isn't really about stamps at all. It's about controlling mothers who don't know when to stop.