ECG's and patients who bring their laundry list..

I really should not be blogging today because I have a bunch of ECG's to look at before class tomorrow at noon. I was planning on running today but it is crazy windy today and my allergies are driving me nuts. Deep in my head I'm thinking, "goody, I don't have to run today!". Seeing that I ate 2 lunches today, I should probably run anyway.

What I did today: had clinic all day.
Who I saw: One guy with a rash and a lady who brought her "laundry list".
What is a laundry list, you ask? Well, a laundry list is a medical professional's nightmare. It's a list of at least 10 vague symptoms the patient is having that you have to deal with. For one, it is extremely time consuming and when you have an office full of patients to see, you can't spend the needed 3 hours working up headache, dizziness, fatigue, nausea while watching movies, occassional heart palpitations, 5 lb weight gain, corns on feet...and oh yeah...the main reason you came in...coughing. This lady came in to see me this morning complaining of coughing but while I'm trying to ask her about associated symptoms like fever, congestion, etc, she goes off on some other direction telling me she thinks she has fibromyaligia, plantar fasciitis, and hip pain ( to name just a few!). I finally had to interrupt her and redirect her to "just answer the questions". I don't want to hear about your friend's spinal fusion surgery, your dog's hemorrhoids, or what your poo looked like after you ate some of your Aunt Gerty's cherry pie. It was way overwhelming and it made me so glad I decided not to go into primary care.

It's probably not fair to blame the patient. They don't know any better. They think their doctor wants to hear all that stuff. Well, they don't. Just answer the question and don't give extraneous information unless it has something to do with the question. If you do have a big list of things wrong, expect to pick a few of the most distressing symptoms and then come back at a later date to address some more of them. Your doc ain't superman and can't deal with them all at once unless they are all related to the same thing OR you are his only patient he is going to see the whole day (which you aren't).

Oh yeah, and don't wait until our visit is over and I have my hand on the doorknob before you say, "oh by the way, I need some medicine for my genital herpes....."

OK I feel better now....now I'm going to tackle the ECG's so I can be finished in time for SouthPark.

Senoritis

I think I have a bad case of senoritis. I don't want to study or go to anymore clinic. Today in AIDS clinic I got so irritated at my attending that I almost smarted off to him. Fortunately, for once, my mouth didn't talk before my brain stopped it.

All I want to do is hang out at home, sleep, and watch TV. Is that bad?

I'm finally starting to get interviews to anesthesia programs, but I really want to stay where I am. Anesthesia this year appears to be the "flavor of the month" so I'm not guaranteed anything, even though I've had a little job in the anesthesia department for the last 1 1/2 years. Everybody wants to do anesthesia these days. I think it may be because it involves no 6am rounding at the hospital and no clinic. It's also kinda neat..ya..know..getting to be in charge of someone's physiology while they're having surgery.

So, I found some fun cartoons that if anyone wants to know what medical school is really like, read them. Here's the link: http://theunderweardrawer.homestead.com/scutmonkey.html
I like to read them over and over again because they make me laugh so much. Really, I'm convinced that the whole purpose of your clinical years is to see if "they" can suck the life out of you.

STD Clinic

Greetings. Today I'm actually going to blog about something medical.

Friday (my birthday) I had the pleasure of spending 4 hours at the city-county health department giving exams to people who think they have an STD. At the end of the 4 hours, I was deciding if I should start with shots or cocktails.

That place was insane. For one, it's a walk-in STD clinic, so you never know how many patients you're going to see. I was assigned to Nurse-it's-my-way-or-the-highway- Sara, who seemed pretty uptight and quite frankly, made me a bit nervous. First, thanks to HIPPA, I have to call a patient by their number instead of their name, then when I get them into the room, I have to ask them all sorts of embarrassing questions. I mean, seriously, when was the last time you went to the doctor and were asked, "do you prefer sex with men, women, or both?" Another classic was, "do you let a man put his penis in your mouth or bottom?". I've never had much of a poker face, but I was proud of the fact that I somehow made it through the morning without giggling. Folks, I'm ready for ESPN's poker championship!

After the Embarrassing Sexual Health History is finished, I have to take their blood for a syphilis/HIV test, then I do the exam. I hate drawing blood. I've delivered more babies than I have taken blood from somebody's arm. I wait around for the microbiologist to tell me if he found anything on the slide from the exam, then I have the fun news of telling S-2 they have trich or whatever. They get a little card telling their "contact" to come in and get checked or else they'll just end up passing the little swimmers back and forth.

In all, the day would have been fine, but I had Nurse Sara constantly riding me about one thing or another and it just drove me insane. Fortunately for me, I get to go back on the 10th and she's already said she's going to make sure I'm assigned to her again!

After that miserable experience, I met with my friend Robyn for a birthday pedicure. She has a blog too, which happens to be much funnier than mine. http://imarriedthepastor.blogspot.com/